This is a story that begins when I began my shift at a watering hole local to central Overland Park. I began working here almost two years ago as a way to earn some extra money. It has since become a place that I go to get paid to vacate my house for reasons other than filming something. As such, I really have no life and am very money hungry, but more to the point.
Thursdays bring in quite the group of eclectic has-beens, nerver-weres, and never-had-a-chances. This is due in part to our friendly staff and atmosphere, mostly however; it is directly attributed to $.75 alcohol. So as the night goes on I decided to guard the back door, this is to ensure no one enters without paying the cover as well as making sure no one tries to sneak out the back with booze; A no-no in the great state of Kansas.
At some point in time I notice two very enthusiastic dumpsters fires that are not too pleased with the cover charge. From here on out they shall be characterized as "Lithium Fire" and "Old Smokey". LF is about 24 by my guess while OS is about 45.
OS was not very happy about having to pay the cover but LF had convinced her that it was a good idea and that they would enjoy themselves here. Now upon entering our bar something was said to LF that brought about a reason for her to pull her pants down and show us her bare ass. Now first off, I dunno if she is unnecessarily proud or just stupid, but this is something that no one should have been subjected to, especially so soon in what would turn out to be a long winding relationship.
Unfortunately for me, OS needed a cigarette as soon as she got inside and proceeded immediately out to the patio, where I was posted in the corner. Of course she found me and began to talk to me about: How she had been drinking since 2PM (it was around 10PM). How LF was a closet meth user. And how proud she was of her three sons, one of them being named Michael as well. Well, his name is actually Tristan Michael. He likes to go by Michael, which we let slide for now; but come adulthood that mother#@$er is Tristan. Now while she was talking to me about all this LF decided to disappear into the darkness of our bar. Furthermore, all the other bouncers had discovered that I was being verbally abused and decided to add their own two cents in. We have walkie talkies with ear buds so of course OS can't hear all the terrible things they are saying about her, how much I appreciate these thing apparently, and all the terrible things I would do to her given the chance. I'm sure you can guess what they were saying so I won't go into the terrible details of that. On a side note, they were all impressed that I didn't lose it once and kept a straight face the whole time.
Finally I am free of her as she needs another drink... or so I thought. Turns out the guys had purchased a rose from the flower lady that peddles her pedals to our customers. They then promptly gave it to OS and told her that I thought she was the tops and deserved it. I stayed outside and began talking to other patrons when I see her return to the patio, but this time she has a man with her and they proceed to head out to the parking lot to exchange... things (vomit). She returns back to the bar about 5 minutes later and finds me as I am hiding from her behind other customers on the patio. She proceeds to tell me how sweet I am for getting her a rose and how much she appreciates it (all news to me). Well I didn't want to make her feel like a shit so I went right along with it. The guys thought that this was just too funny and were so proud of themselves.
By this time LF has resurfaced and is pissed off at these other girls, when the other bouncers ask her why she says because "She didn't take her medicine. She's a lil bi polar, and drinking doesn't help it". I walk away and laugh and claim victory, because if I am going to give a rose to someone (without my knowledge) I apparently picked the right dumpster fire. OS heads back out the parking lot with yet another guy, LF is bouncing around angry, people are laughing at me, and we aren't even really that busy. Anyway long story short towards the end of the night I told OS to make sure she called me and gave her the bouncers number that actually gave her the rose saying it was from me. LF is that last person out the door, berates the other bouncers for being rude because they would use their tongues to clean up the spillage on her cleavage. She says nothing to me because she knows I'm "interested" in OS. How ya like meh now!!!
