Render Queue

I have a couple of clips that I am rendering out so I thought I would take the time and write a little on here.  So lately, I am trying to remember what it was like before Facebook existed.  Before I was connect to 500 plus people every waking moment of the day.  It makes sense that we as humans yearn for such a connection and yet its also a curse.  I have so many of these friends and hardly ever talk to any of them.  And when a conversation does spring up it tends to be empty and half-hearted.  Lately it seems as though that is really the only kind of conversation that I have with anybody.  The GF works and goes to school enough that we don't get to spend as much time as we'd like to.  It's funny that when we do have a real conversation it throws me off a little bit.  It just doesn't happen often enough.  But, we will have this holiday week.  Finally.  Yay!

There was a time in my life when I was spontaneous.  When I had a list of 20 people that I could call and something interesting would materialize.  These times, that list of 20, the something interstings; they have all eroded from my life.  What replaces them is a constant push in business interests in an effort to make more money.  The goal is to make my 30's more enjoyable, more travel and what not.  I am maybe growing impatient waiting to work through the next 3 years.  It is partly my fault for this dilemma because there was a weening effort on my part as well.  Those moments of spontaneity became less and less interesting and more revolved around drinking at some location.  Soon the location even became mundane.  A look at those 20 folks today will not reveal anything different from those same folks ten years ago.  So what am I supposed to do for fun now?  Searching for it is getting a little tiresome.

Holiday Rush

Excuse me, I am trying to get out of here.  Well, it is the holiday rush, so who are you to sit here in line as if you had nothing else going on.  My clients are needing all there work yesterday.  The very fabric of their family structure hangs in the balance.  My edits could make their season or crush all hope of their survival.  Just as well, I have a house to clean and grill to prep.  We decided this year Thanksgiving will be done here at home on the BBQ.  Yeah it is a little non traditional but non the less I still need supplies, and fast.  Have you no plans other than to stand in this line and listen to me rant about the season.  And don't even get me started on the gifts.  So many gifts.  I think people refuse to by anything for themselves the last quarter of the year in hopes that others will do it for them.  Don't see much good in that do you?  See, I figure folks just end up getting disappointed really.  Sure they may get some of what they want.  Who the hell really knows what they want anyway!?  They only thing I want right now is to get the hell out of this store.  I have a client meeting in an hour and phone conference thirty minutes after that.  Shit, wait.  Maybe it was a conference call in thirty minutes and a client meeting an hour after that.  Bah!  What is with this lady anyway, who needs that much Koolaid the Wednesday before thanksgiving.  You know you don't say much man.  My clients are kinda like that too.  I need an assistant; she. . .(pause). . . or he should be here doing this.  I think I have waited here so long that it is actually costing me money.  Look at this damn toy.  I don't even know what this toys do anymore.  But the bosses little girl needed something, right?  Hopefully I'll get a promotion out of this or something.  It's $60 dollars.  In fact look at all this shit in the basket.  None of its for me, except for the toothpaste.  Ridiculous I say, I'm going to spend $135 dollars.  Know what I'm gonna get outta the deal?  That's right, toothpaste.  Well, theoretically it will save me hassle and nagging later, but you know what, I think it just gives everybody to check something off the to do list and move right on down and start up on the next one.  Hell I wish I had a nagging list,  too busy filling other people's request.  You know what would be number one?  Getting the hell out of lane 13 here at this damn store and getting to the damn meetings and phone calls that I am can't even remember the damn order and time of because I am too busy buying whatever the hell this toy is and rendering out this video before tomorrow so that I can relax.  (Pause)  Well hell buddy if you don't wanna here what I have to say you can move to another line.  Look sir all I am doing is trying to vent.  And I never touched you so I don't think that was very appropriate at all.  Bah, shit. other loud noises.  Look officer this guy shoved me first.  All I am trying to do is buy this stupid toy for some kid that I don't even like and get out of here to a meeting.  No I don't have time to go with you and talk about it.  Shit Shit.  O come on, man.  Are the cuffs really necessary. Bah!!

Unobscured

I continue to spit because this life is disgusting.
But what else would you expect from a child left behind


"And why do some many people like The Twilight Series but no one is a big fan of The Host?"

"Let me ask you this; would you rather give your daughter the life that you have been giving her now, or would you like to work towards giving her the world now.  I mean look at you, sacrifice this and sacrifice that, what the hell do you think you are already doing?  You might as well push through and give her what you think she deserves."

"Pancreatic cancer is the #4 killer in respect to all cancers?  What the hell could the first three be!?"

"He loves the wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle part"



That all that I really have right now.  Sorry. It's kinda terrible

Saturday Unedited and Unproofed

Well I let the leaves get out of control.  I should really get outside and get those raked up.  Also the cars need to be washed and wax before what I believe will be another harsh winter.  Not as harsh as the late 80's early 90's.  Some of those years were just brutal from what I remember.  And certainly not with a snowpocalypse like what we had last winter.  That wasn't so much of a snowpocalypse as it was that the various weather teams across the metro predicted it so accurately.  When the hell does that ever happen!?  I also need to get the cars washed and waxed for the impending winter doom.  So interesting that such a harsh season could be my favorite.  Very simple explanation really, see in the summer you are left at arms length from the ones you care about.  The personal space is so much bigger when it is 100 degrees outside.  Humans produce about 800 BTUs of heat every hour.  Doesn't seem like much considering your grill probably does around 35,000. Yet when it is so warm outside I just. . .it's too damn hot.  But the winter, O the winter is when you realize how much value that heat has.  Especially when the personal space can be invade with someone you love and the doubled BTUs can be shared.  A walk on the plaza, a cold night in, movies, parks, tree lights.  1600 BTU's is the only to keep it, 800 is just so lonely.

A Conversation of 1991-1992

• Eliza
  

  • no, they built a new elementary right next door to the old one 3 years ago
  • the old school is being rented by a church
• Michael Lopez

  • I went to school there like 20 years ago.
• Eliza
  

  • really? lol, which teachers did you have? A lot of them are still there
• Michael Lopez

  • Young and Spears
  • they were both young they might have gotten married by now.
• Eliza

  • Spears retired 2 years ago
• Michael Lopez

  • omg are you serious.
• Eliza

  • she was divorced I think
  • I don't know a Mrs. Young
• Michael Lopez

  • How old is she?
• Eliza

  • yeah, lol, she taught 2nd grade
  • I dunno...50s?
• Michael Lopez

  • Holy crap. She was kinda hot when I was there.
• Eliza

  • I didn't know her that well, she worked at the other building before I started traveling, so I only knew her from district-wide meetings
  • hahaha
  • ummm...yeah.
• Michael Lopez

  • Young got pregnant during my school year and took the whole year off, so if she didn't come back at all it wouldn't surprise me.
  • All year I had a sub named ms. Berry
  • and she was shaped like a berry.
  • lol, that is how I remember her name.
  • And the assistant principal openly chewed tobacco in his office.  That big block stuff with the star on it.  Like totally out of Bluto's mouth in a disney cartoon.
• Eliza

  • omg!
  • yeah, there used to be a policy that you couldn't teach while prego
• Michael Lopez

  • We had a computer room upstairs that was full of old mac's that only ran number munchers and took real floppy disks.
• Eliza

  • the computer lab was on the 2nd floor when it closed, probably the same room
• Michael Lopez

  • yeah probably, the assistant principals office may have been up there somewhere.
• Eliza

  • lol
• Michael Lopez

  • Our music teacher was Mr. Feablecorn or something like that.
• Eliza

  • hahaha
  • that's a funny name
• Michael Lopez

  • he was in his forties so I'm sure he is long gone.
• Eliza

  • all the electives teachers are relatively young
  • Mrs. Graham is maybe the only one you would have had...she teaches art
• Michael Lopez

  • Our gym teacher was raging butch lesbo.
• Eliza

  • lol
• Michael Lopez

  • And Jump Rope For Heart started while I went to school there.
• Eliza

  • we have 2 pe teachers now, a young guy that if I was single and he was single I'd totally crush on. And a woman who is this little bouncy, perky thing with a husband and 4 kids
• Michael Lopez

  • I remember this bigger kid fell on the bleachers, which were made of wood at the time, in the gym/cafeteria. He landed on his eye. I don't think he was able ever to see out of it again.
• Eliza

  • wow
  • they're still wood btw
• Michael Lopez

  • Music was in the basement. It was like a fall out shelter down there.
• Eliza

  • lol, yeah that basement is scary
  • black mold and brown recluse spiders...that's why it closed
  • it kept failing inspections
• Michael Lopez

  • I remember after you walk in and pass the gym you could keep walking into the "new" wing or turn right and head into the basement.
• Eliza

  • yup
  • and go down the ramp to the new wing
• Michael Lopez

  • Anyway there was a little nook there between the basement entrance and the ramp. Hurricane Andrew had just hit and we started collecting food and toiletries to ship down there. I remember that nook constantly being stuffed with shit. It was like they couldn't ship it out fast enough.
• Michael Lopez

  • Or I was little and everything seems bigger when you are little.
• Eliza

  • lol
• Michael Lopez

  • At the end of the new wing about twenty feet away there was a tornado siren. When that thing went off for drills it would shake the building. Also, we did fallout drills where we would huddle under our desk and wait to be vaporized
• Eliza

  • seriously? OMG

• Michael Lopez

  • I think that was the last building I ever did that in. The Cold war had been over for a while.
  • Yeah, that was my second and third grade.
• Eliza

  • I never did a fall out drill. That's crazy!
  • I'll have to find a yearbook....
  • we have archives
  • what year would that be...
• Michael Lopez

  • O I remember New Kids On The Block was just getting popular too. I didn't like them back then either.
• Eliza

  • let's see...you're 26?
• Michael Lopez

  • 27
• Michael Lopez

  • Well Hurricane Andrew was 92
• Eliza

  • okay, so 1992-93
• Michael Lopez

  • After 3rd grade I went back to Edwardsville
• Eliza

  • lol, I'll try to scan it and send it to you
  • Mrs. Young and Mrs. Spears
• Michael Lopez

  • That would be crazy. After my parents got divorced I lost everything. I don't have anything from really before middle school.
  • Yeah I thought spears was my 3rd grade teacher but I could be wrong.
  • so that should be 91-92 and 92-93
• Eliza

  • I'll check for you

Lunar Rover

The best opportunities are the ones taken with disastrous results.  To fail at such a level previously unacknowledged, to become so fetal.  Cleansing the proposed wrongs, only two discovered some don't want to right.  Loving those whom don't love you back, or do so such as urban gentrification; displacement.  A disconnect from the world in hopes to escape all others but your own and discovering why you logged on in the first place.  Some, such as myself, were put on this Earth in hopes of accomplishing dreams.  Yet nothing of this dream is owed, nor is it a reward.  Earnest is either running out of incorrect approaches or tiring the opponent of his challenges.  There is no honor in this as some have received none.  So left are we, forever to roam the planet, and one day others, in search of what is not owed or deserved but delivered through unmatched persistence to quench, without remorse.  Those challengers, them; are left only to wonder how on Earth, and one day others, are left free, for their Rome destroys.

You're No Jack Kennedy

So the purpose of this blog is to discuss why I never have a camera with me.  I have gotten strange looks about this as I am a professional filmmaker/photographer.  Why not perpetuate what I love in my own life?  Why not capture the few memories that I am able to make for myself? 

Really the only reason I ever have a camera in my hand is because I am getting paid to have it there.  Now along with that comes the responsibility to edit the piece in to the memory or story that is desired from the client.  Editing is always a responsibility, even if it is your own memories.  This issue with this is that we have plenty of paid work that needs yet to be accomplished.  As such it makes no sense to work on my personal memories when there are paying customers waiting patiently on theirs'.

Now this is where the Jack Kennedy quote comes in; I just don't feel like stopping to take a picture of my own life while I am living it.  When I am out and about with the little time that I can summons, I want to envelope myself in that moment and not worrying about whether I will remember it later or not.  If someone else were present with a camera I am definitly not going to tell them to leave me alone.  If they want to take a picture than that is just fine with me.  But if you  look at the image of Mr. Kennedy above (or any picture for that matter), he doesn't seem to be to concerned with pictures.  In my opinion he appears to be too wrapped up in what he is doing:  Having fun.  That my friends, is the only way to enjoy life.  You need pictures?  Hire somebody.